After years of scoffing at my mother every time she said to expect it, all of a sudden in the span of two years, I’ve attended three weddings, with four more invitations pinned to my calendar. Suffice to say I’m an expert at being a wedding guest – a wedding guest pert, if you will.
All that is to say, I feel comfortable voicing my opinion on this, to the future brides and grooms interested in listening: ignore the etiquette guides. Ignore Martha Stewart, and those borderline judgey reddit comments, please just put your wedding registry on your invitation.
I get it, you don’t want to come off as selfish, or make it seem like the only reason you’re inviting someone to your wedding is to get a gift out of them. But at the end of the day, this is someone who you know cares about you, and is going to want to celebrate you and your partner! So there are plenty of reasons why including your registry on your wedding invitation is the right move:
- After the congratulations, and some ogling of the ring, the very next thing I ask my friends when I get their save the date is “Are you already registered anywhere?”. Invitation sites, like Evite or Paperless Post, literally have sections of their wedding invitations for you to subtly and practically include a link to your registry. Right off the bat, that should let you know that it is not only accepted, it is almost expected, to find a registry link right there on the wedding invitation.
- Tradition might tell you that the “correct” way to share your registry with guests is via a member of the bridal party or an immediate family member. To have guests contact them and bug them for the details (which can be as helpful as a wild goose chase, followed by a series of riddles.) There is no need to play games with your guests – you have information we want, no one is going to fault you for just giving it to us.
- Even if someone can’t make it to your wedding, they still want to feel like they’re an active participant in your big day! When you put your registry on your invitation, all that you’re doing is making it easy and accessible to all of your guests. No one wants to give you any extra stress, unnecessary work, or make you go out of your way when you already have so much to do. So make it easy on everyone!
There will always be ways to keep your wedding registry from hogging the spotlight (like including the link to the wedding website instead of the registry on the invitation); ultimately buying a gift off your registry is something that your guests want to do. Your guests want to know how we can make our small part of your big day as special as possible – all you have to do is give us the tools.
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